Teachers--it's a seller's market

Reasons for this post:

1) Alternatives: This might be a strange interpretation of "alternatives" (because this concerns alternatives WITHIN the profession), but we propose that you become endorsed in as many areas as you can stomach.

Why?

• So that you are invaluable.
• So that you can walk at any time. ("Fine, you're going to assign me the worst classes/most students/worst classroom/most grueling schedule [in math, French, whatever]? I've got FIVE job offers to teach special ed in districts that PAY MORE!")

2) So that in your current situation, you can rise above The Servant Class.* Because we truly do want you to have a good school year.

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JUST BY WAY OF EXAMPLE: (Extra points if you can catch the grammatical error!! Yes, there's a grammatical error on the Virginia EDUCATION DEPARTMENT WEBSITE!! YEY!!! WE LOVE HYPOCRISY!!! YOU MAKE TEACHERS JUMP THROUGH 7 TRILLION HOOPS, & YOU CAN'T EVEN HIRE A PROOFREADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[Yes, we know this blog is not perfect either. Let's review: It's a B-L-O-G.]

2008-2009 Top 10 Critical Shortage Teaching Endorsement Areas in Virginia
The following represent the top 10 critical shortage teaching endorsement area assignment [sic] for 2008-2009:

1. Special Education:
• speech-language disorders preK-12;
• special education general curriculum K-12 (learning disabilities; emotional
disturbance; mental retardation);
• early childhood special education (birth through age 5);
• special education adapted curriculum K-12 (severe disabilities);
• hearing impairments preK-12;
• visual impairments preK-12
2. Mathematics (Mathematics 6-12; Algebra I)
3. Science (Earth science; middle grades 6-8; biology)
4. Reading Specialist
5. Foreign Languages (Spanish preK-12)
6. Career and Technical Education (family and consumer sciences; technology education)
7. English as a Second Language preK-12
8. English 6-12
9. Library Media preK-12
10. Middle Grades 6-8 (all subjects)
11. Everything

Number 11 is our sarcastic addition to the list. So, let's see where there is no shortage....high school Social Studies (sorry guys, I guess you are consigned to Worker Bee status)...elementary (shocking, actually)...phys ed? I don't see that on the list...actually, I guess all of the arts are also excluded from this list (even though there are demonstrable shortages in music) because God knows we don't need thoughtful, creative, inventive, disciplined, resourceful, and highly imaginative people to populate 21st century America.

And here we get to the number two reason for this post. Just look at this [above]. Almost every subject is short-suited. What does that tell you?

• You are totally undervaluing yourself.
• This is what they don't want you to know, or think about.
• They want you to feel like you could lose your job at any moment.

But,

It's a seller's market.

Let's get to selling...




*The Servant Class = people who are the worker bees, people who have to tow the line and do lots of extra work for the people who are Untouchables.

Examples of real life benefits to being Untouchable in a public school:

• taking sabbaticals even if your school system does not offer them
• access to power
• come late, leave early [not that we endorse doing a piss-poor job, but why should you work harder than someone else getting the same or higher pay?]

More in a later post...

The Myth of Tenure

Our blog posts are often too long, and we live in the age of the sound-byte, so in brief:

If they want you gone, you’re gone.

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Veteran teachers know:

If they like you, you can do anything you want--come late, never hand back papers, dress crazy, not bathe, and you're golden. You're untouchable.

It is so much like being back in high school--you know, the arbitrariness, the impossibility of figuring out how to "get liked"--

....you may not know what you did--perhaps you looked at someone funny, perhaps your sub plans were on the right side of your desk instead of the left side of your desk, perhaps you made friends with the "wrong" people....but once "they" have set their hats against you....you may as well put in for a transfer and get your resume in shape.

We speak not from a place of bitterness, but from witnessing others disappear. Haven't you noticed this? One day someone's there, the next they're gone? And we often assume that because it is "so hard to fire a teacher," that person must have done something morally reprehensible, unforgivable, a crime against nature. They deserved to go. Why else would the administration go to such trouble, given that it is so hard to get rid of a "bad" teacher!!!

And, of course, administrators, being paragons of virtue and entirely lacking in human emotion, never act out vendettas...[SARCASM ALERT!!! SARCASM ALERT!!!]

We call this the myth of tenure:

When you can be harrassed for taking children to a publicly financed art museum, and they see art,

you ain't got tenure; you ain't got squat. [Technically, this teacher wasn't fired...we are researching what happened to her. However, harrassment, poor evaluations, and constant beratement is one of the tools employed to drive people out...]

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We have found that frequently, when someone vanishes, the rumor mill actively reports that the person did something abominable; months later, we find out not only was the person exonerated, but is happily, successfully teaching elsewhere, or, living on a beach enjoying the interest on the hefty settlement and hush money they received...

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When a colleague is "disappeared," we suggest that you find out what really happened before you pass judgement.

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More examples to follow, and ways to avoid being placed on the sh*t list. In the main, we aim to make this a forum for the real, secret knowledge all veteran teachers have, which is usually transmitted via oral tradition in faculty rooms, at bars, and psychically, through looks and expressions.